Reformed Theology Gladness?  Calvinism

Gladness?

Reformed Theology Gladness?  Calvinism
Gladness?

Brothers, I'm in desperate need of help. I know a doctor would say I am depressed, but I don't wish to discuss this, because a doctor will not understand the grief of the soul I am experiencing, nor will they give me any wise counsel concerning spiritual matters.

I am grieved by my pondering of the strait gate, the call to count the cost, the few who find it, the call not to love the world, or anything in it. By the call to hate my mother, children and myself. I cannot see past these things, and all joy in my life is crushed because of what I hope is a disproportionate obsession on the harder verses of scripture.

Can I enjoy the smell of flowers on my kitchen table? Can I experience calm at the way my living room looks under the gentle light of the cheap IKEA lamp I just bought? Can I laugh and have joy with my family and children outside of a worship setting? Can I look forward to the smell of coffee in the morning? Can I be fascinated by a secular book about an adventure to some faraway island?

I am flat, brothers. I am convicted by any and all small enjoyments. Please, help me understand the difference between loving the world and enjoying little things that keep life from becoming totally bereft of happiness.

Or am I just a lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God?

Brothers, I’m in desperate need of help. I know a doctor would say I am depressed, but I don’t wish to discuss this, because a doctor will not understand the grief of the soul I am experiencing, nor will they give me any wise counsel concerning spiritual matters.I am grieved by my pondering of the strait gate, the call to count the cost, the few who find it, the call not to love the world, or anything in it. By the call to hate my mother, children and myself. I cannot see past these things, and all joy in my life is crushed because of what I hope is a disproportionate obsession on the harder verses of scripture.Can I enjoy the smell of flowers on my kitchen table? Can I experience calm at the way my living room looks under the gentle light of the cheap IKEA lamp I just bought? Can I laugh and have joy with my family and children outside of a worship setting? Can I look forward to the smell of coffee in the morning? Can I be fascinated by a secular book about an adventure to some faraway island?I am flat, brothers. I am convicted by any and all small enjoyments. Please, help me understand the difference between loving the world and enjoying little things that keep life from becoming totally bereft of happiness.Or am I just a lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God?
Link: Gladness?
Submitted by lronSword

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